The Best Team to Coach
is a Team of Orphans
By Kaci Mulberry
Girls Soccer Coach
This article was originally published by Positive Coaching in their
quarterly publication "The Clipboard". We appreciate
their willingness to allow us to republish it on our website.
The best team to coach is a team full of orphans. Of course this is from the coaches' point of view. You may ask why this is so. I believe that I have the answer. A team of orphans has no parents to second-guess your decisions, or to tell you why their child should play more than everyone else, or to scream from the sidelines at officials and players. But most importantly, there would not be any parents around to criticize the children for losing.
At the developmental stage, many children do not care about winning or losing nor should they be pressured to. What is important is that they learn about their sport and how to play it properly. There will be plenty of time to generate the competitiveness that so many parents are frothing to find in their children. The biggest detriment to most children is not that they may lose a game but the pressure their parents put on them which tends to make them feel like failures. So, the moral of this article is to coach your parents as much as you coach your teams because your players spend far more time with them than you.
The easiest way to coach your parent is to educate them as well. By educating the parents we are seeking to raise their level of interests as well as their level of knowledge of the game. By being interested and knowledgeable, you provide parents the opportunity to have constructive conversations with players. Once more the easiest way to educate parents is to involve them in the sport. If parents participate in the sport, they are then able to understand the efforts and hardships of the players - not just the victories.
In my experience, I was coaching an under eleven developmental girls soccer team. I was having some problems with some parents applying too much pressure on their kids to win. That's when I realized that the kids were having fun on the field, but when they came off the field there was that overwhelming pressure that they played well, but they didn't win. This is when I decided that I needed to better the experience for everyone. I realized that we needed to change the atmosphere the team was competing in. I found that by encouraging the parents to play themselves, they gained a better understanding of the game.
The more the parents participated, the less pressure they applied to players. This led to the inception of a parents team where they practiced and played as hard as the girls did. The result of all of this was that the atmosphere changed to allow the girls to enjoy the sport and the parents to understand it. This improved our whole team experience and led to a great season. The most important thing that coaches need to do is not fall victim to the pressure from parents and outside sources. The player's experience is what truly matters.
Now there are many options available for coaches to get their parents involved by Positive Coaching, local clubs, recreation centers, and other outside sources. From the coaches perspective, the point of this article is to help encourage team parents to physically participate in the sport and create a better experience for the players, parents, and coaches.
Positive Coaching Vision Statement:
Positive Coaching, Inc. believes that the foundation of our future is in its youth, and that sports are an essential part of a young person's physical emotional, and spiritual development in the U.S. culture today.
Participation in sports helps the young person build positive self esteem a strong work ethic, morals, and cooperation through team building.
Positive Coaching believes that positive influences modeled by coaches, parents, teachers, peers media, professional athletes and others contribute to the well being and the healthy development of youth.
Reach for the Summitt
This was posted to the Soccer-L-coach mailing list by Jon Unger of Madeira Boys Varsity in Cincinnati, Ohio. I think most of us can identify with it as both parents and coaches. Thought you might enjoy it.
Hi, group. I am reading Pat Summitt's excellent book on coaching philosophy REACH FOR THE SUMMIT (Pat Summitt is the head basketball coach at the University of Tennessee and is considered to be the best women's college basketball coach - and possibly the best college basketball coach period). She has an interesting story about herself as a soccer Mom:
"Tyler (her son) plays a little baseball, and he plays soccer. That's right. I'm a soccer Mom. Now, there are few things more potentially disharmonious than a parent who doesn't understand his or her proper role in the team concept. Parents who think their daughter should be playing more or that they know more about how to coach her than I do. I ask them to trust me and let me do the coaching. I ask for their support in making a cohesive unit out of our players. When I discipline or bench a player, our parents must understand that I have to do what I think is best for all. Their proper role on our team is to support their daughter and our team. But when Tyler came along, Mickie and Holly got these knowing looks on their faces. They said 'Just wait until Tyler starts playing sports, and we'll see how you act.'
I said 'I'm not going act like some Little League parent. I'm not going to do it.' But that was before I went to his first soccer match. As Tyler ran on to the field that day, I was so proud of him. He looked adorable in his shorts and his new socks and his cleats. Then the game got underway. Now, I don't know a lot about soccer. But as the game progresssed, I
couldn't help being a little disappointed because Tyler was hanging back.
He wasn't aggressive. It seemed like a lot of those kids were playing harder than he was. Some of them were really out front, running toward the goal and kicking up a storm. From where I stood, Tyler was being awfully passive. As the game went on, I started worrying about it.
Finally, there was a time-out, and Tyler's coach substituted for him. Tyler came jogging over to the sideline, and the first thing he did, naturally, was look me right in the eye expectantly. He said, 'Mom, how'd I do?'
He wanted my approval. I knew that how I reacted was so important. I could influence his self-esteem for life, right then and there. So I said, 'Son, you did great. You did just great.'
He stood next to me, watching the game. Boy, I was really
struggling not to say anything more to him. After a minute, finally, I couldn't stand it. I put my hand on his shoulder, and I leaned down, and I said, "But you could be more aggressive! You didn't kick the ball. Get in there! Be competitive! Be aggressive!' Tyler looked back at me with his big, somber eyes, and said, 'Okay.'
When he went back into the game, I was one proud mother. He kicked the ball. He ran so hard, he knocked people down. He was AGGRESSIVE. Boy, did I puff up. I was pretty full of myself, thinking, THAT'S MY BOY.
Well, at halftime the coach went over and talked to Tyler. Afterward Tyler walked back toward me. I could tell from his body language that something was wrong. He scuffed along, his head hanging down. I said, 'What's the matter?'
Tyler said, 'Mom, I'm so confused.'
'Why?' I said.
He said, 'Well, you told me to get in there and kick the ball and be aggressive. But my coach told me to be back on defense and protect the goal.' I went pale. 'What do I do?' he asked me. 'Son,' I said, 'you do EXACTLY what your coach tells you to do.'
Coach's Concerns
by Dr. Richard K. Stratton
Trash Talking: It is NOT Part of the Game!
It used to be that participating in sports involved performing your skills and executing the plays you had learned. Now it seems that showing off and showing up the opposition has become a big part of sports. High fives, belly bumps, and end zone dances are only a few examples. It has reached the point that football has had to enforce excessive celebration penalties.
Other sports have talked about or have included baiting the opponent penalties. It is hard to say why all of this behavior has started and why it has become so widespread. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with being happy about your accomplishments on the field, on the court, in the pool, or wherever. It does become a problem when your celebration is designed to make someone else feel bad rather than to make you feel good.
Trash talking, in the vast majority of the cases, is done solely to make another athlete feel bad or make them mad. Some coaches teach trash talking and many athletes try to use trash talking to try to get the target of the trash talking to lose their concentration. The problem is that the player doing the trash talking also is not concentrating on their game. One CYS reader indicated that he had seen a quote supposedly made by Coach Bobby Knight in which Coach Knight said he would rather have his player concentrating on his play instead of thinking up a wise aleck remark to make.
When you resort to trash talking to try to defeat someone else you are admitting that you can't beat them using skills and play execution. You, in essence, are admitting that you are not as good an athlete as they are.
Think about that when someone tries to use trash talking against you. Remember that they are telling you that you are better than they are. Instead of getting mad and trying to retaliate with trash talking or worse, like fighting, just prove that they are right. Play better than they do.
Cursing at your opponents, making negative comments about the color of their skin, their ethnic origin, or anything similar is totally inappropriate anytime, including sports.
THE BEST ROLE MODEL
IN PRO SPORTS by Ian Bellis
"The Best Role Model in Pro Sports" was originally published in The Soccer Signal, from WWC on the WWW, and was written by Ian Bellis. Check out our site for the best Women's World Cup coverage on the Net. Copyright 1999 WWC on the WWW. All rights reserved.
Should kids and teenagers look at professional athletes as role models? This question seems to have become much more prevalent in recent years.
A number of years ago, Charles Barkley of the NBA's Houston Rockets answered this question in the resoundingly negative.
Barkley said that instead of athletes, kids should look at their parents as role models. This point does make sense but is not always realistic. Between all the commercials on television, all the products in the stores, and the high public visibility of many pro athletes, it is relatively easy to see how they could become people emulated by many kids and teenagers.
Assuming that pro athletes are going to be looked at as role models, might not some make better role models than others? There are many positive role models out there. These would include such people as recently retired New York Rangers hockey player Wayne Gretzky, who won the NHL's award for sportsmanship 4 times in his 20-year career, and baseball star Cal Ripken Jr., whose consecutive games played streak is a feat hardly equaled in sports. There are also pro athletes who don't exactly make the best role models. These would include such people as basketball's Dennis Rodman and Latrell Sprewell. Rodman, throughout his career, has undoubtedly been a brilliant rebounder. At the same time, his work ethic and self-pitying attitude are ones that no one should follow. Sprewell, for his part, after having a verbal confrontation with his head coach, choked and later threatened him.
What about in women's sports? The doors to athletics were truly opened for the first time for women in 1972, when Title IX was passed. Title IX was part of an education law that said that funding for all academic and athletic educational programs had to be equitable, based on gender. This meant, for example, that girls' athletic programs could no longer be cut just to devote more money to football and also that girls could not be denied a place on the football team, solely because they were girls. In the last 25 years or so, the door has opened wider and wider. In that time, the number of female athletes who are positive role models has grown tremendously. This list would include Billie
Jean King, Martina Navratilova, and Monica Seles in tennis; Dot Richardson in softball; Rebecca Lobo, Cynthia Cooper, and Sheryl Swoopes in basketball; Janet Evans in swimming; Jackie Joyner Kersee in track and field; and of course, Mia Hamm, Michelle
Akers, Julie Foudy, etc., in soccer. This is not at all to say that the athletes who do not make the best role models are absent from women's sports. Overall, however, I believe that there is a case for there being more team camaraderie, fewer selfish attitudes, and a higher level of character and integrity in women's sports.
Not only are there more, positive role models in women's sports than ever before, the image put forward by these role models is different than any put forward before. It's no longer a case of polite tennis played by un-athletic ladies in long, white dresses. It's fast-break basketball, soccer in the mud, and collisions at home plate in softball. Also, and more importantly, the women mentioned above have attained their goals through selflessness, courage, hard work, and simply supporting each other.
Alright, to tie this all together, the focus will now switch to the woman who I believe probably is the best role model in all of professional sports -- Mia Hamm. Hamm is this, I feel, because of what she does and who she is as a player and a person.
Although she has been given the title of 'best female soccer player in the world,' by many, Hamm rarely talks about her own play in the way that might be expected. When she does speak of it, it is always either within a self-critique or, at most, a positive comment that is secondary to what a teammate was able to do, i.e., "... was able to finish the chance because of the great ball from Julie."
The list of Mia Hamm's accomplishments in the sport of soccer is very long and could only be called astounding. A FEW highlights include: the youngest woman ever to play for the national team (age 15); the NCAA career assists leader with 72 (definitely an extremely unselfish player); scoring a goal every 4.1 shots in college; and selected as a three-time first team All-American. Added to Hamm's lengthy list of honors, last summer, was the tying of the all-time US goal-scoring record (97 goals; the men's world record is 77 by Pele). What's the first thing that Mia did upon attaining very select company? She thanked and praised her teammate Michelle Akers, the record-holder, saying, "She does so much for the sport and I'm so proud to be her teammate. I hope that some of that rubs off on me." What other active professional athlete would make that statement?
Off the soccer field, Hamm takes her role as a public sports figure very seriously. US Women's National Team practices and matches are almost always overflowing with young girls and women seeking autographs. Even after hours of practicing, team members always stop to sign. During one of these sessions, Mia was quoted as saying, "This is what it's all about. As soccer players growing up, we didn't have female soccer role models to look up to. One of the reasons we have been so successful is because our youth programs are strong." This statement is not just an indication concerning the state of the sport. It shows that Hamm recognizes what she means to the millions of female soccer players around the United States. From her, and from all the members of the national team, the sense of being the ones that lay the foundation for the future of women's soccer in the US, is very great. They truly feel a responsibility to the next generation of female soccer players.
Outside of athletics, Mia has also done well. She graduated from the University of North Carolina with a degree in Political Science. Just getting a degree is something that far too many Division 1 athletes don't now do. In addition, while at UNC, she was inducted into the university's highest honorary society.
Since such a small percentage of all athletes make it to the pros, the importance of doing well, academically, and finishing one's education cannot be oversold. Mia did both of these things.
What she does and who she is as a player and person, are what makes Mia Hamm the, I think, best role model in all of professional sports. From the importance of academics and finishing one's education, to her on-field work ethic and selflessness towards her teammates, to the responsibility she shows as a public figure, she manages to do it all. The importance of this is in the fact that there are so many professional athletes who currently have trouble accomplishing even one of the three.
Finally, the very real possibility exists for a women's professional soccer league to begin in the United States, after the Sydney Olympics. In reference to this, Mia said at one point, "Soon women will have a soccer league of our own. And the guys will be cheering for us." Well Mia, this one already is.
The Six Things Parents Should Say
to Their Player
(Before and After the Game)
By Bruce Brownlee
http://www.brucebrownlee.com
A lot of soccer parents with good intentions give a 30 minute lecture, covering all the players supposed deficiencies and giving playing advice, in the car on the way to each match. The kids arrive far off their optimal mental state, and dreading the critique they are likely to hear, whether they want it or not, on the way home. Kids who are massaged in this way tend not to play badly, they just tend to not play, possibly to avoid making mistakes.
The easiest way to detect this problem is just to ask the player if it is a problem. Kids are more than willing to share this grief. The easiest way to correct this problem is to speak to the parents, as a group, about your expectations, and to cover this as a routine problem. Many of the parents will recognize themselves if you can present this problem with humor and illustrate the importance of the kids having fun and arriving in a good state of mind.
For best results, parents should memorize and use the following:
Before the Match
- I love you.
- Good luck.
- Have fun.
After the Match
- I love you.
- It was great to see you play.
What would you like to eat?
